hey y’all!

I’ve written a little about everything that has tested me the past few years; the vulnerability, feelings, and emotions that have been felt. BUTTT I really haven’t explained WHY behind the reason I felt a strong need to share my experiences. Hence the title ~what is your why~ ⇢⇢ keep reading to find out my why!!

To be honest, it took a little while to even fully grasp the reason, “why”, I felt such a desire to put myself out there for all to see ~& read~ me at my worst. I have since developed a strong set of values that help lead me to making the right decisions & focusing on things that allow me to be the happiest version of ME possible!

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Let’s flash back about two years so I can explain a bit…

Before shit hit the fan for me, I truly thought that I had achieved a lot more than I ever expected I would, & from the outside it looked like I was the best version of me that I had ever been. I even sort of was afraid that I had hit my peak around sophomore year of college {well hopefully one of many, I think there are many peaks & valleys throughout your life time (: } but in reality I had even convinced myself I was living my best life well knowing that I was completely miserable. I had always always always lived for other people, and through what others wanted of me/ for me.

From the outside I am sure it looked like I had it all together – I was achieving and doing well. The unexpected surprise of Ripley probably isn’t the best image of “having it all together”, but then a month later I got engaged {to Cristian who I dated in high school}, graduated, got married, moved in with my new little fam … that’s all fun adventures of someone who “has life figured out” and I most definitely put my best foot forward on the internet to do everything in my power to hide how absolutely shambley I had gotten. At this point, I could not even begin to picture of the best ~version of me~ looked like

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From the ever so inspiring mentor series Hannah Brown did with With Honors

She explained a very similar experience to mine in terms of how she was living this life that seemed perfect but really she, “knew how to tie it all up and put on a face so no one questioned it”.

“Times when it looked like i had it all figured out were the times I was really at my worst”

— Hannah

That is exactly how I felt all of college and the majority of high school! It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I even realized there was more to me than I ever thought and that basically everything I thought I was NOT & all I ~thought~ liked I really DIDN’T! I was just playing that part, taking the easy road, because it was available and was getting me by.

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If I never hit rock bottom I would have never asked myself “who are you”

The second I really sat down to think about that question, to think about “who am I?” the confusion really set in about why I let myself live that way for SO. FRICKIN. LONG.

ARE YOU HAPPY? DO YOU LIKE THIS ROLE YOU’RE PLAYING? DOES WHAT YOU’RE DOING ALIGN WITH WHO YOU WANNA BE & WHO YOU ARE?!

^^those questions are a varied form of quotes from Hannah but I ask them to myself often, especially when I feel lost or “off”. 

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Listening to her made me remember the list of a few important personal values that I curated a few weeks ago:

✩ my newest is to ~have a POWERFUL, MEANINGFUL, INSPIRING “why”

☺︎︎practice self-cultivation daily // growth

✩ curiosity // desire to learn

☺︎︎creativity

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✝︎ What is your WHY?

☺︎︎Do you have any specific personal values?! 

✝︎ please reach out to me here or on instagram to share some of yours with me, I would L O V E to hear them & why you picked them!

☺︎︎Would y’all like me to go into more detail about this type of topic?? 

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☄︎ BLASTING OFF,
T ∾ SPACEYCOWBOY ✰✰

 

Some of my posts that relate to this topic can be found :

✧ H E R E ☞ YOUR POTENTIAL IS LIMITLESS

✧ H E R E ☞ SLOW SEASONS ARE FOR PLANTING SEEDS