SOOO here we are at the end of the first month of the new decade… i’m not sure why but knowing that we entered an entirely new decade at new year felt like the fresh start i’ve been waiting for. 

I have been working to end up at this point since freshman year of college, even though at the time I had absolutely no idea the growth that was to come. 

---

☆ I finally broke out of my shy shell & honestly now I never stop talking… sorry everyone <3 

☆ I decided to try so many things during my time at Alabama that I would have never imagined myself doing at 18

☆ I struggled so much with my health, and still am, but all the dead ends and triumphs I have gone through has only made me stronger and smarter

☆ I made so many amazing friends, lost a few along the way, and faced some of the most cruel people I could ever imagine having to deal with – but like I said in regards to my health, all of those people taught me important lessons about life, love, and self respect. I honestly thank them for being so nasty because I would, mentally, not be at the place I am today & I love the way I view life now

☆ I realized that life is FUN & that every moment you have on earth is precious so why get caught up in the anxiety & fast paced ways of society when it is not always necessary. I would legit plan my days down to the exact 4 minutes 26 seconds I would allow myself to shower… THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO LIVE!!! {@ least in my opinion because it was not working for me but I applaud the people that work and live that way you’re incredible}

☆ My mental health took a nose dive straight down, crashed & burned, and left me entirely lost because I had never fully accepted failure before. Now I was being forced to embrace it head on if I wanted to live a functional life again… 

◌ I truly let myself discover that is IS OK to NOT BE OK… I had heard it said before but never allowed myself to digest it because I never wanted to seem weak, broken, helpless, & honestly I have no idea what other excuses I made to talk myself out of accepting my flaws & embracing them. 

☆ I discovered my love for learning- I am not sure why I convinced myself all my life that I was not “good at school” or “didn’t like learning” because I have been lying to myself for 22 years… oh well you live and you learn (:

☆ I also learned how important it is to be your own advocate, educate yourself, & know your worth because if you don’t respect yourself and your values then no one else will

☆ && best of all; I became a mama to the MOST AMAZING little bubba Rip, got MARRIED, and moved in with my sweet new family to live this shambly life together F I N A L L Y as one unit that feels like a family!

---

I finally feel like I am growing into new aspects of myself and my identity that have been waiting to shine through. I have accepted that I am different from 99% of the people I am surrounded by, but that is what makes life interesting & fun. 

However cheesy it may be, 2020 for me is going to be about

PERSEVERING

✮✳︎☾☀︎✝︎✈︎✌︎

I plan to discover more things that genuinely make me happy and fulfill me, stay positive until I figure out how to cope with my health issues, and be the best mother & wife I possibly can be no matter how tired or lethargic I feel. 

---

I recently realized that I have let MYSELF down & broken the trust I have with myself ~~THANK YOUUUUU @ Ed Mylett & TSC for allowing me to have a true realization moment and to get real with myself.

⇢⇢⇢ In regards to building my trust with myself back up, I discovered I needed a way to “compete” with me & make my failure visibly in front of me daily. I need to start small because every aspect of my daily life and routine has gotten out of whack; my sleep schedule, my habits&routines, my exercise, my free time, my time with my family, PLUS I AM ALWAYS RUNNING BEHIND — I absolutely hate it and it needs to be fixed. This new decade was exactly what I needed to get back on track. ⇠⇠⇠

Here are a few ~small~ things I am working on daily so soon I can progress into more meaningful changes::

✐ M O R N I N G S ✐   

☆ DO. NOT. SNOOZE. — this is one of my worst habits. Because of Narcolepsy when I snooze I go right back into a deep sleep so those snoozed 7 minutes turn into a good hour… {^^aka the main reason i’m always running late}

☆ Since I am trying to better my eating habits and find a fix for my stomach/digestion issues I have started food combining; if you want to learn more about this check out Kenzie Burkes blog, she has great posts & programs to help you realize and reap the benefits of f o o d c o m b i n i n g. 

◌ this means that before noon I try to only consume fruits & veggies… but to be completely honest I get hungry around 11 & have some; toast with peanut butter & honey, or clif energy granola & almond  milk. 

◌ I also need to become better at eating or at least preparing my breakfast before I bring Ripley from his room because that kid is a FIEND for his food</p>
☆ EXERCISE!!! I have gotten beyond lazy with this, so I need to get back on track

✐ R O U T I N E ✐   

☆ My mornings are currently a free for all, and that it honestly such a bad way for me to start my day because I just wake up in shambles & stay in shambles. Some things I am trying to implement are:

✌︎ Warm water w/ lemon

✌︎ Make my bed, take my medicine, & stretch

✌︎ Daily stoic, journal, & bible

✌︎ Exercise

✌︎ & courtesy of the wonderful Lauryn of TSC I need; LIGHT, MOVEMENT, HYDRATION  in the first thirty minutes I wake up to relax myself & prep for a productive day

☆ Time Management — those who know me know I am so easily distracted that it often takes me a good hour to leave the house, regardless if I have my shoes & jacket on, purse & Ripley ready… nope I will 9 times out of 10 get way too distracted

☆ absolutely NO MORE N A P P I N G DURING THE DAY! This has thrown off my sleep schedule soooooo bad & now I am just viciously stuck in this cycle of being tired all day but completely awake at night {narcolepsy you truly are the best gift… :/}

☆ and lastly to bounce off of the ~new~ no napping rule, I need to become way more strict on my sleep schedule. I have read countless books on sleep & how to fix myself and honestly it all boils down to my lack of self discipline on sleeping and waking up at the same times everyday. So this year will f i n a l l y be the year where I sleep like a normal human & have the energy levels of a normal 22-year-old. With this I am hoping to be able to give a ton more energy into my fitness & physical health because that is so important and I so easily let it slip down my priority list

• • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥ • • ♥ ♥

I have a great feeling about 2020 & I cannot wait to see how this year plays out, but so far it is off to a pretty good start!

☄︎ Blasting off,

The Rocket Mama ✰✰